Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth!!!
So Eric had always wondered what that phrase in the Bible would actually look like in real life. Thus commences the story of the dental visit...
Rachel had kindly arranged dental visits for both of them to the same dentist on sequential appointment times, viz, 11:15am and 12noon on Wednesday. Rachel finished a 12hour ER night shift at 7am, and slept until 10:00am when she got ready for the day and to come pick Eric up. It takes about 15 minutes to make it to the dentist's office and so she was planning to drive over to Eric's office to pick him up at 10:55am. She duly arrived but he wasn't quite ready to go. He made it outside at 11:03am and they agreed he would drive since he is less of a law-abiding citizen than Rachel is. So he's driving at 80mph up Hwy 5 and Rachel is rather upset. It was at that point he found out the meaning of weeping and gnashing of teeth. You see, Rachel has been late for both of her prior dental appointments and feels very badly that people will misjudge her as a tardy person, especially since it IS NOT HER FAULT. IT IS ERIC'S FAULT. HE TAKES ALL BLAME FOR THIS WHOLE MESS. HE IS SOOOOOO SORRRRRRY!!!!
Eric said something to this effect to Rachel and she forgave him. And kept forgiving him. And kept forgiving him. In fact, Eric began to wonder if he was really forgiven when his sins kept re-appearing!-) He pointed this out to Rachel and asked for an explanation of her salvation theology. Her response is classic (you would have to have been there to see her petulant face say this): "I don't think you're appropriately repentant..." For some reason the combination of her very cute expression coupled with those words struck Eric as extremely hilarious, which really didn't help the situation.
So they're making good time down the freeway and the directions Rachel printed out were apparently for some other dentist's office. At least she had been there twice before and so knew that the exit was incorrect. So they kept driving, and called the dentist's office to let them know they would be a bit late and Eric insisted they ask for the name of the exit. This made Rachel upset because she KNEW which exit it was, just couldn't remember the name. And she was correct, she accurately identified the appropriate exit.
They got off and followed Rachel's directions to the shopping center with the dentist's office. Eric was very happy because, due to his manly driving, he actually got Rachel there on time. He dropped her off in front of the office and parked the car. As he was walking in, she was walking out with more weeping and gnashing of teeth. IT WAS THE WRONG DENTIST'S OFFICE.
So they called again and Rachel got directions. They were in the wrong shopping center with a similar appearing dental office. Off down the road they went, but they didn't find the name of the street Rachel had been directed to. So Eric called them this time, hoping they couldn't hear Rachel's teeth being ground down to the roots by all the gnashing. (She really hates being late.)
So they finally got there, 10 minutes late and thus, Rachel could not get a comprehensive exam, but only a teeth cleaning.
Thus ends the gnashing.
Now for the funny part. So the dental hygienist asks Rachel how long it has been since she had her teeth cleaned. Rachel doesn't wish to answer and so says, "oh, a very long time..." The hygienist is not impressed and is now worried that they will have to do a "deep cleaning" on her teeth. After beginning to examine her enamelized protuberances, the professional plaque-fighter is actually impressed. "Actually you teeth don't look that bad. It can't have been more than a year or two. How long has it been since you had a teeth cleaning?" Rachel, relieved that no deep cleaning was required, was happy to now admit that it had been over 10 years since she had had a teeth cleaning. The hygienist was shocked and correctly ascertained that Rachel must eat lots of raw fruits and vegetables and drink no cola drinks.
Finishing the cleaning, she then had the nerve to insist that Rachel needed to come back for another cleaning in 6 months. Apologies to all dental friends out there, but this seems inconsistent.
Eric's enamel and dentin exam went similarly except that he had had a teeth cleaning within the past 3 years rather than 10 years.
On the drive home, though Eric really never subsequently worked up enough "appropriate repentance", Rachel was gracious enough to actually forgive him for his portion of responsibility for making her late. He (narrowly) avoided saying anything about her directions and their marriage has been smooth ever since.
God bless you all!
Eric and Rachel
So Eric had always wondered what that phrase in the Bible would actually look like in real life. Thus commences the story of the dental visit...
Rachel had kindly arranged dental visits for both of them to the same dentist on sequential appointment times, viz, 11:15am and 12noon on Wednesday. Rachel finished a 12hour ER night shift at 7am, and slept until 10:00am when she got ready for the day and to come pick Eric up. It takes about 15 minutes to make it to the dentist's office and so she was planning to drive over to Eric's office to pick him up at 10:55am. She duly arrived but he wasn't quite ready to go. He made it outside at 11:03am and they agreed he would drive since he is less of a law-abiding citizen than Rachel is. So he's driving at 80mph up Hwy 5 and Rachel is rather upset. It was at that point he found out the meaning of weeping and gnashing of teeth. You see, Rachel has been late for both of her prior dental appointments and feels very badly that people will misjudge her as a tardy person, especially since it IS NOT HER FAULT. IT IS ERIC'S FAULT. HE TAKES ALL BLAME FOR THIS WHOLE MESS. HE IS SOOOOOO SORRRRRRY!!!!
Eric said something to this effect to Rachel and she forgave him. And kept forgiving him. And kept forgiving him. In fact, Eric began to wonder if he was really forgiven when his sins kept re-appearing!-) He pointed this out to Rachel and asked for an explanation of her salvation theology. Her response is classic (you would have to have been there to see her petulant face say this): "I don't think you're appropriately repentant..." For some reason the combination of her very cute expression coupled with those words struck Eric as extremely hilarious, which really didn't help the situation.
So they're making good time down the freeway and the directions Rachel printed out were apparently for some other dentist's office. At least she had been there twice before and so knew that the exit was incorrect. So they kept driving, and called the dentist's office to let them know they would be a bit late and Eric insisted they ask for the name of the exit. This made Rachel upset because she KNEW which exit it was, just couldn't remember the name. And she was correct, she accurately identified the appropriate exit.
They got off and followed Rachel's directions to the shopping center with the dentist's office. Eric was very happy because, due to his manly driving, he actually got Rachel there on time. He dropped her off in front of the office and parked the car. As he was walking in, she was walking out with more weeping and gnashing of teeth. IT WAS THE WRONG DENTIST'S OFFICE.
So they called again and Rachel got directions. They were in the wrong shopping center with a similar appearing dental office. Off down the road they went, but they didn't find the name of the street Rachel had been directed to. So Eric called them this time, hoping they couldn't hear Rachel's teeth being ground down to the roots by all the gnashing. (She really hates being late.)
So they finally got there, 10 minutes late and thus, Rachel could not get a comprehensive exam, but only a teeth cleaning.
Thus ends the gnashing.
Now for the funny part. So the dental hygienist asks Rachel how long it has been since she had her teeth cleaned. Rachel doesn't wish to answer and so says, "oh, a very long time..." The hygienist is not impressed and is now worried that they will have to do a "deep cleaning" on her teeth. After beginning to examine her enamelized protuberances, the professional plaque-fighter is actually impressed. "Actually you teeth don't look that bad. It can't have been more than a year or two. How long has it been since you had a teeth cleaning?" Rachel, relieved that no deep cleaning was required, was happy to now admit that it had been over 10 years since she had had a teeth cleaning. The hygienist was shocked and correctly ascertained that Rachel must eat lots of raw fruits and vegetables and drink no cola drinks.
Finishing the cleaning, she then had the nerve to insist that Rachel needed to come back for another cleaning in 6 months. Apologies to all dental friends out there, but this seems inconsistent.
Eric's enamel and dentin exam went similarly except that he had had a teeth cleaning within the past 3 years rather than 10 years.
On the drive home, though Eric really never subsequently worked up enough "appropriate repentance", Rachel was gracious enough to actually forgive him for his portion of responsibility for making her late. He (narrowly) avoided saying anything about her directions and their marriage has been smooth ever since.
God bless you all!
Eric and Rachel
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