Thoughts on DEATH and DYING...
PICU has been challenging. Probably the hardest part for me has been caring for children facing immanent death.
I had a child last week that died. I was completely unprepared. I knew that he wasn't doing well, I knew that his kidneys and liver had shut down, but I wasn't ready for him to die. I thought he just might pull through. Thankfully, I wasn't on when he coded. Although I sometimes think that it might have helped bring closure to the whole thing. I don't know. At any rate, I'm glad that he's sleeping peacefully.
I'm so thankful that as a Seventh-day Adventist we have the correct understanding of death: an unconscious sleep (Ecclesiastes 9:5 "For the living know that they will die; But the dead know nothing, And they have no more reward, For the memory of them is forgotten"). I would feel terrible if I thought that this little boy had gone to hell to suffer even more than he already suffered. Equally awful is the idea of him looking down from Heaven seeing his mother, grandmother, and friends (and health professionals who took care of him) going through such indescribable grief.
At any rate, I was hit pretty hard by his death. I didn't realize how attached I have gotten to my patients. Which, frankly, I'm glad. I'm glad that I was able to bond with a patient. It keeps me human. I don't ever want to lose that aspect of medicine.
-Rachel
PICU has been challenging. Probably the hardest part for me has been caring for children facing immanent death.
I had a child last week that died. I was completely unprepared. I knew that he wasn't doing well, I knew that his kidneys and liver had shut down, but I wasn't ready for him to die. I thought he just might pull through. Thankfully, I wasn't on when he coded. Although I sometimes think that it might have helped bring closure to the whole thing. I don't know. At any rate, I'm glad that he's sleeping peacefully.
I'm so thankful that as a Seventh-day Adventist we have the correct understanding of death: an unconscious sleep (Ecclesiastes 9:5 "For the living know that they will die; But the dead know nothing, And they have no more reward, For the memory of them is forgotten"). I would feel terrible if I thought that this little boy had gone to hell to suffer even more than he already suffered. Equally awful is the idea of him looking down from Heaven seeing his mother, grandmother, and friends (and health professionals who took care of him) going through such indescribable grief.
At any rate, I was hit pretty hard by his death. I didn't realize how attached I have gotten to my patients. Which, frankly, I'm glad. I'm glad that I was able to bond with a patient. It keeps me human. I don't ever want to lose that aspect of medicine.
-Rachel
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