The "glamour" of homeschooling

Mommy worked yesterday from 12pm-10pm without even a lunch break. Didn't help that time "sprung forward" by an hour yesterday. Mommy got home exhausted and woke up exhausted. Amy came dragging into her room to announce she'd wet her bed. Great. Amy is told to pull off the wet linens and put them in her laundry basket. Mommy gets up and walks two miles while reading her Bible. She then fixes breakfast and spends the meal trying to convince her daughter to eat her bread with margarine (she has decided to go on a "spread" strike because mommy didn't happen to buy the kind of margarine she likes). Mommy tries in vain to convince her that the margarine in the large green container tastes exactly like the margarine in the small yellow container. Amy vigorously assures mommy that if they do a randomized, double blinded trial she will easily pick out the offending margarine. Mommy rests the case. After breakfast, kids get dressed. This entails waltzing into bedroom, pulling of PJs and flinging them across room amidst gales of laughter, then slowly pulling out one clothing item and putting it on and then dancing and singing at top volume around living room with said ONE item of clothing until reminded by mommy to finish getting dressed. One additional item of clothing is put on and the song continues at top notch. This scene is repeated multiple times until both children are finally fully clothed. Amy is then reminded that she needs to brush her hair. Amy informs mommy that she doesn't need to brush her hair because she can't FIND her hair brush. Mommy tells Amy to go and use Mommy's brush because yes, the hair WILL get brushed today. Amy wonders off to mommy's bathroom and soon returns with requested hair brush. Mommy brushes Amy's hair and instructs Amy to return hairbrush to mommy's bathroom. Whereupon another argument ensues as Amy has decided since she can't find HER hairbrush she needs to have MOMMY'S hairbrush in her bathroom. Mommy wins the argument and the brush is returned to Mommy's bathroom. Mommy goes to feed the dog. Dog has not gotten out of bed. Great. Dog must be sick. Food is placed in dog's bowl, Dog is coached out of bed to go outside and pee. Dog comes straight back to bed, sniffs at food. Food is left in bowl with hopes dog is just as tired as mommy. Now it's time for worship. Both children are jumping, somersaulting, and cartwheeling around living room. Somehow both are corralled over to the couch and mommy has worship (but not after squelching multiple arguments over who gets to read the Bible verse and who gets to pray). Sigh. Mommy is tired. Next mommy tackles piano (both kids take piano so mommy has to practice with each of them)...an hour and a half later mommy emerges from piano tear stained but victorious, sort of...Seriously, why does being asked to repeat ONLY ONE measure 10 times (yes, ONE measure out of a song with over 30 measures) cause so many tears and take SO long. Mommy is worn out after piano so violin is skipped (for now). Next up, mommy tackles school. Due to an extended vacation to Puerto Rico, the family is 3 days behind in school. Which means for the next three days the kids need to do two extra science lessons, two extra math, and two extra spelling lessons to catch up. Mommy decides to start by tackling science but before she begins the door bell rings. It's workmen here to work on the house. Mommy lets them in and shows them upstairs. The start banging and rilling in the room next to where mommy is trying to start school...Back to science. The topic is natural resources. Simple. Not. Mommy started out really excited about the topic and activity. Onlookers would think she was talking to a beached whale with the intelligence of a jellyfish. Amy insists on floundering all over the floor. Feet waving wildly despite being told multiple times to keep them on the ground. She couldn't appear more disinterested. Mommy does my best dog & pony show all to no avail. Mommy cuts out the craft, Amy scribbles all over it (tells mommy she is making the pictures "glow"). Mommy pastes them into her book. Suddenly, Michael notices Amy is using his pencil. The pencil is grabbed, then recaptured, then grabbed back. During the scuffle dark lines appear all over the just completed science project. Michael is sent to time out for grabbing the pencil and marking all over Amy's paper. Mommy tries to resume science with Amy while half listening to Michael hollering in time out about how he "hates homeschooling" and wants to go to a "real school because there no one will steal MY pencil!" Eventually science is finished. About this time it's duly noticed dog is still in bed. Dog is sick. Amy is assigned to her math topic (which she tackles with slightly more interest than science) and mommy takes a break to call the vet. Mommy is told dog needs to be seen right away. Mommy calls daddy almost in tears (although she very skillfully hides it and daddy isn't aware that mommy is ready to melt down). However, mommy pulls herself together and decides she will womanfully tackle lunch, the piles of laundry left over from 8 day vacation in Puerto Rico, the bread that needs made, the dog that needs to go to the vet, the rooms that need picked up, the bed linen that was soaked with pee, and the garden that needs planted, the dinner with the doctor recipes that need typed out, the cradle roll program that needs written, the work schedule that is long overdue, the birthday party and violin recital that need planned, violin practice, the rest of school...and...oh, wait, actually mommy is blogging instead....