My kids
I just have to do a quick post about how different my two children are. I remember hearing other parents talk about how different their children were and thinking, "No way, they are making this up." Well, they weren't. My kids are as different as night and day.
From day one, Amy has been a free spirit. I remember as an infant struggling to get her to snuggle with me. She would fall asleep with her head arched back (and no, it wasn't due to Sandifer syndrome...). I struggled to get close to her. As a toddler, she resisted all my efforts to teach her the alphabet. I tried for months to get her to learn the basic letters. I know, crazy. But I tried. I tried to teach her to count. It was as if she was purposefully attempting to not learn. Enter age 3 and she is talking. Out of the blue she would just pop out with topics completely off the wall. For example, I'm discussing what she wants to eat for dinner and she says, "Mommy, I think it would be fun to ride a pink elephant." We actually started doing time-out to get her to stop being so bizarre (I guess I was worried she might be developing schizophrenia!).
Despite her perceived independence, however, she is shy and timid in new situations. When she started kindergarten Sabbath school at church she cried and cried because I didn't go with her. The first few weeks were a struggle because she did NOT want to go by herself. I held firm and she eventually started liking kindergarten Sabbath school.
A few months into kindergarten her Sabbath school kindergarten teacher asked me, "When did Amy learn to read?" Learn to read? This kid doesn't even know the alphabet. Well, apparently she knew how to read and would read for her teacher in Sabbath school. I was beyond thrilled. When we got home from church that day I found the simplest reading book I had and eagerly brought it to Amy. "Honey, mommy wants to see if you can read this book." I tried to stifle my excitement and sound calm. Amy couldn't have appeared more indifferent had she tried. She wouldn't read the words, she claimed she didn't know the letters, and she definitely showed absolutely no interest in the pictures. I gave up and assumed the kindergarten teacher was delusional. It was sometime later that I figured out Amy could, indeed read, fluently. But, it was totally on her terms. No amount of coaxing would get her to read "on demand."
Music, math, science, spelling, all subjects we have worked on have been a struggle--not because she can't, but because she's not interested. She would much rather make hangers in her closet tell stories to each other, chase random butterflies outside, write Kosher mystery stories, and prance around the house in contraband high heels than do school work. But there is nothing wrong with this child's brain. She effortlessly memorizes violin concertos and piano sonatas. Her standardized test scores are excellent. But she lacks any sort of drive or competition. If she finds out someone is better than her she seems to revel in their success.
Socially, she wants to blend in, not stand out. She is the follower in a gaggle of girls. She is like the background flower with rare perfume that only can be noticed when one gets really close it. She is a people pleaser. She is always worried about what others think and trying to make sure she pleases them.
Michael, on the other hand, is my competitive leader. Even as a baby, he demonstrated incredible drive. I remember at the age of 18 months, he climbed up a very steep hill all by himself because he wanted to reach me at the top. He knew his colors before age 2, by age two he was counting better than 4 year old Amy. He started reading at 3 years old (around the time he started violin). He plays violin and piano and is begging to take organ. He spends his free time reading books (science books). In a group of kids he is the delegator, the leader. He's not afraid to do something by himself. He will eagerly volunteer to be up front, to speak, to answer questions. What Amy does effortlessly, he will work and work at to catch up and do better. BUT, he is the one that I've had to work with on empathy. We have struggled to help him learn to lose gracefully, allow others to have the limelight, and make sure others feelings are recognized.
Both my children are beautiful creatures. I love them out of this world. And I'm excited to see how their personalities will continue to expand as they get older!
From day one, Amy has been a free spirit. I remember as an infant struggling to get her to snuggle with me. She would fall asleep with her head arched back (and no, it wasn't due to Sandifer syndrome...). I struggled to get close to her. As a toddler, she resisted all my efforts to teach her the alphabet. I tried for months to get her to learn the basic letters. I know, crazy. But I tried. I tried to teach her to count. It was as if she was purposefully attempting to not learn. Enter age 3 and she is talking. Out of the blue she would just pop out with topics completely off the wall. For example, I'm discussing what she wants to eat for dinner and she says, "Mommy, I think it would be fun to ride a pink elephant." We actually started doing time-out to get her to stop being so bizarre (I guess I was worried she might be developing schizophrenia!).
Despite her perceived independence, however, she is shy and timid in new situations. When she started kindergarten Sabbath school at church she cried and cried because I didn't go with her. The first few weeks were a struggle because she did NOT want to go by herself. I held firm and she eventually started liking kindergarten Sabbath school.
A few months into kindergarten her Sabbath school kindergarten teacher asked me, "When did Amy learn to read?" Learn to read? This kid doesn't even know the alphabet. Well, apparently she knew how to read and would read for her teacher in Sabbath school. I was beyond thrilled. When we got home from church that day I found the simplest reading book I had and eagerly brought it to Amy. "Honey, mommy wants to see if you can read this book." I tried to stifle my excitement and sound calm. Amy couldn't have appeared more indifferent had she tried. She wouldn't read the words, she claimed she didn't know the letters, and she definitely showed absolutely no interest in the pictures. I gave up and assumed the kindergarten teacher was delusional. It was sometime later that I figured out Amy could, indeed read, fluently. But, it was totally on her terms. No amount of coaxing would get her to read "on demand."
Music, math, science, spelling, all subjects we have worked on have been a struggle--not because she can't, but because she's not interested. She would much rather make hangers in her closet tell stories to each other, chase random butterflies outside, write Kosher mystery stories, and prance around the house in contraband high heels than do school work. But there is nothing wrong with this child's brain. She effortlessly memorizes violin concertos and piano sonatas. Her standardized test scores are excellent. But she lacks any sort of drive or competition. If she finds out someone is better than her she seems to revel in their success.
Socially, she wants to blend in, not stand out. She is the follower in a gaggle of girls. She is like the background flower with rare perfume that only can be noticed when one gets really close it. She is a people pleaser. She is always worried about what others think and trying to make sure she pleases them.
Michael, on the other hand, is my competitive leader. Even as a baby, he demonstrated incredible drive. I remember at the age of 18 months, he climbed up a very steep hill all by himself because he wanted to reach me at the top. He knew his colors before age 2, by age two he was counting better than 4 year old Amy. He started reading at 3 years old (around the time he started violin). He plays violin and piano and is begging to take organ. He spends his free time reading books (science books). In a group of kids he is the delegator, the leader. He's not afraid to do something by himself. He will eagerly volunteer to be up front, to speak, to answer questions. What Amy does effortlessly, he will work and work at to catch up and do better. BUT, he is the one that I've had to work with on empathy. We have struggled to help him learn to lose gracefully, allow others to have the limelight, and make sure others feelings are recognized.
Both my children are beautiful creatures. I love them out of this world. And I'm excited to see how their personalities will continue to expand as they get older!
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