Dogtastophes

 I just survived manhandling my two dogs for a vet visit. 

This morning, I gave Barkley 50 mg of Benadryl to prevent motion sickness. He did not vomit on the car ride. That was a plus. However, on the flip side, Benadryl had a paradoxical effect. Rather than putting Barkley to sleep, like Benadryl usually does to humans, Benadryl turned Barkley into an uncontrolled monster.

I am still not sure how I got both dogs got into the office. Barkley was defiant, bold, and obstinate. Unfortunately, his really bad behavior rubbed off on Timmy. Neither dog had any interest in following commands. And unfortunately, they both had radically different ideas of where we should go as a triad.

Somehow, I managed to shove both of them through the door. The receptionists were definitely not impressed. Apparently, they make appointments for only one dog at a time. That was not communicated to me...I thought I'd made the appointment for both dogs at once. I gave them my best sad puppy face.

The discussion was curtailed by the dog's behavior. One of the receptionists came around the table to help me control Barkley. I was assured that it would be OK to do both dogs today. Whew. I couldn't imagine doing this a second time.

Thankfully, I was given a room very quickly. Everyone was anxious to get my beasts out of the lobby. 

Once in the room, I collapsed onto a bench and watched my two crazy dogs try to outdo each other in naughtiness. Thankfully, there was nothing they could damage. Obviously, this vet has dealt with similar situations a time or two before. 

I did my best to talk some sense into my normally more controllable animals. Apparently, my monologue registered. After about 15 minutes of unrequited enthusiasm, both dogs gave up and flopped down on the floor.

There they lay, seemingly exhausted from their exploits, eyes peeled on the door. Whenever they heard footsteps, they bolted to life, ready to enthusiastically overwhelm anyone who ventured in. 

And in and out one poor staff member came. First, she had to get the history; then she had to go collect their vaccine records; and finally, she brought an estimated expense sheet with à la carte vaccine and testing options. And no, I didn't choose to get an expensive blood panel, sign them up for teeth cleaning under anesthesia, or pay another exorbitant amount to get their poop analyzed.

By the time the vet walked in, both dogs had calmed considerably. Apparently, Barkley had made quite an impression on the staff because the vet took the pains to tell Barkley he was not living up to the reputation she had been given. 

I eagerly accepted her strong recommendation to let the receptionist come to the room to bill me for the visit. And I happily took an alternate exit, which was also recommended. I'm guessing one encounter with my two poorly controlled fiends was all the reception staff could handle in a day...

The only silver lining: the rabies shot lasts three years, so I don’t have to repeat this drama until 2028.